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 Make a Wish, Jirachi & Curtis
Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 01:17 AM
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A beach near Lucanosa Town.


Curtis knew about loss. He lost his dad a sea. He lost part of his ear to a bullet. His Gible lost its mother. Archeops was a fossil, and had lost its old life to the sands of time.

Curtis took a seat on top of a large, flat white rock. His Minccino, Leo, rested on the side of it. It was a nice night to just think about these things. He was silently praying for all that was lost. That he'd meet his dad his dad again, in Heaven.

That he'd find Tooth's mother. The Gible was growing up so fast, and he was glad to be a part of it. But he didn't want to his mother to miss this. He wanted them reunited and happy.

He prayed for Idea, knowing that he could only hope for the best for him, since he couldn't give the Pokemon the life he had lost. It must have been hard for him, to wake up to a new world and not know anything. Curtis almost wondered if reviving his fossil was even the right thing to do.

"What are you thinking about, Curtis?" Leo asked.
"I don't know. Stuff," Curtis mused.
"Ah. Same. Mostly about the League."
"Oh?"

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Jirachi
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 01:19 AM
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"Yeah, tell us about it."
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Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 01:23 AM
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"Well, I was just thinking how I'd... kick butt," Leo lied. "Ah- wait, what the. Who said that?"

Curtis rose from the rock and darted his eyes around. "Hello? Is someone out there?"
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Jirachi
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 01:29 AM
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"I don't know. IS someone out there?" There might have been the feeling of something whooshing over the top of Leo's head, and a hard thunk when that same something came to rest on Curtis'.

"HEY, WHO'S OUT HERE? You're disturbing a young man and his bride-to-be while they discuss their secret future Pokefucker marriage!"
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Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 01:35 AM
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Curtis couldn't really look up and see, since he was wearing his trademark hat and all. He would only see the brim of his hat.

"What's that thing on your head?" Leo asked.

Curtis dug into his pocket and produced a PokeDex. He held it up to the strange thing, hoping for an answer. A picture of the Pokemon appeared: a Jirachi. Although the Dex, strangely, didn't seem to have any info on it.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to disturb anyone," Curtis said sheepishly. "... But is there a reason why you're on my head?"

"Or are you just hanging out?" Leo asked.
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Jirachi
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 01:46 AM
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Noting his picture on the PokeDex, the little legend perched on Curtis' head dislodged himself, floating downwards in a laid-back position, like he was riding a hammock. "Who, me? No, yeah, I just love to 'hang out' with random-ass people and their little buddies. Hoo boy, do I live for these interactions."

All delivered in a flat, monotone voice. "No, I'm not here to fucking 'hang out'. Your buddy," he says as he gestures towards Curtis, "is having some kind of deep resignation. Or a doubt. See, it goes like this." Flipping himself forward, Jirachi lands next to Leo, wrapping an arm around his furry shoulder. "I'm the Wishmaster. Whenever someone has a deep, deep desire to change something, I'm there. I'm drawn to it. As it just so happens, your boy Custus here," he pauses, looking back to Curtis, "and I'm saying that right? It's Custus, right? Ah, who cares." A dismissive wave of the hand accompanies the last line. "Anyway, your boy here seems to have something he really, REALLY wants to happen. I was in the neighborhood, so... poof! Here I am."

Snap. Jirachi snaps his fingers, and in a silver flash he's gone. At the same time, he appears on Curtis' shoulder, lying across the back of his neck as best he can to try and whisper in his ear. "Or, here I am. So what is it, huh? Got a girl you wanna make love you? Fabulous fortune you wanna earn? Oh, oh, let me guess... you wanna fuck the girl AND have the money. A popular choice, my friend. Very popular."
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Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 01:57 AM
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"Don't touch me ever again," Leo said.

Curtis was kind of overwhelmed here. First off, this little fella magically appears. Then he gets his name wrong, and now he's trying to help him have sex with Leaf on a pile of money. It was all very weird, though admittedly not as weird as the time he saw his friend's Sandile bite off a Simipour's arm.

"I, uh, I..." he stammered, failing to collect his thoughts. "Well, I was just thinking... Uh."

Curtis paused, then took a deep breath. This was a little crazy, but maybe Jirachi really WAS here for a reason. It wouldn't hurt to ask, right?

"To be honest, if it's not too much trouble for you, I mean..." he began. "I have a few wishes, for my Pokemon. I'd like to send my Archeops back in time, so he could be with his family. And I need help finding my Gible's mother. And..."

Curtis considered one more wish. A more selfish wish, but one that he'd thought about a lot. But since Jirachi was already helping him, it seemed greedy to keep asking for more.

"And that's it," he concluded. "And my name's Curtis, my the way. Do you have a name, or do I just call you Jirachi?"
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Jirachi
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 08:49 PM
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Oh, how sweet. Custard wanted to use some wishes to help his Pokemon find happiness.

Manipulating this kid was going to be easier than he thought.

"Wow, all of those wishes sound just so amazing! Wanting your friends to be happy, or reunited with their parents or some shit like that, it's all just so great! You wouldn't BELIEVE how many greedy," he whispers as he moves closer, "selfish," and closer, "bastards there are out there that only think about themselves!"

Another snap of the fingers and Jirachi poofs away again, appearing in front of the boy in the same relaxed, laid-back position as before. "With a list like that, hell, you can call me whatever you want. Juuuust joking. Call me anything but Jirachi and I'll turn your furbuddy over there into a condom and stuff him at the bottom of the bowl at Sandstorm." He smiles, giving Leo a finger gun and a 'click-click' noise out of the corner of his mouth.

"So," Jirachi starts, leaning forward in the air, "there's just a couple of formalities here. Minor things, really, but I figured I oughta warn you ahead of time. Ahem." Crossing his arms, the steel pixie nods, and in a little puff of smoke he summons up a pair of thick-rimmed glasses and a comically long scroll. "You, the wisher, are attempting to make a demand from Jirachi, Wishmaster and yadda yadda yadda.... mmmm, you don't need to hear all this part, I'll just skip to the good stuff." The paper rolls upwards into the air rapidly, and Jirachi gives a little "Aha" once he finds the spot he's looking for.

"Here we go. The terms of your wishes are up to you, but in the course of said wishes, Jirachi can not be held accountable for the following." As he speaks, his voice seems to speed up, making the string of words nearly incomprehensible. "Damage to self, damage to others, damage to the state, damage to the continent, damage to the planet, damage to the spacial confines of the universe, damage to the flow of time, loss of vital fluids, loss of limbs, loss of intestine, loss of life, loss of soul, loss of the souls of others, rapid bowel movements, the human pappilomavirus, space AIDS, wisher's home being turned into Downy Tide bottles, wisher's friends, family and pets being turned into Downy Tide bottles, wisher's loss of will to live, wisher being transformed into a giant chess piece to be used for interdimensional games of chess, and increased insurance rates."

With a smile, he snaps his fingers, and the list disappears from sight. "Now that we've got the legal technicalities out of the way, we'll get down to the nitty-gritty. Look, kid, I'll be more than happy to grant your desires, whatever the fuck they are, whether they're all that sappy stuff you wanted, or shit-all else... but you're gonna have to do something for me, too."
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Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 09:07 PM
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Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. Curtis was majorly confused. And oddly, the fact that Downy Tide bottles and AIDS were the least confusing part of that whole mess. What legal confines would a legendary's magic be bound to? Did other legends enforce this on Jirachi, or no?

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh," Leo added. Thanks for your contribution, Leo.

"What do you need, Jirachi?" Curtis asked.

"This isn't gonna be one of those sex slave deals, is it?" Leo asked grumpily. He crossed his arms. "A stranger keeps trying to make those kinds of deals in exchange for stuff."
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Jirachi
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 09:20 PM
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"Don't," he says as he points at Leo, "give me any ideas. I'm a sucker for a good sex dungeon. Fortunately, though, I have something else in mind." Turning from the rat, Jirachi moves back to Curtis again, pointing up at the spell tags on his head.

"See these? One, two, three. Three wishes per customer, that's all I have in me. One and two, you can use for whatever the hell you want. But the third one is mine. I help you out, and you make a wish for me. And don't worry, it's nothing world-altering or dimension-shattering, so don't shit your pants."

He holds out a tiny hand. "That's the deal. You wanna take it, mortal?"
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Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 09:23 PM
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Curtis put a hand to his chin. That was a fair deal, and explained why Jirachi really came her.

He held out his hand and... almost shook Jirachi's. He had a brief thought, then pulled it back. "Tell me what your wish is first, and you might have a deal."
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Jirachi
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 09:29 PM
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He was about to grin, prepare himself to watch this kid get fucked, but then Curtis had to go and start asking questions. Gods, why were mortals so fucking inquisitive? He was going to have a chat with his Lake Trio cousins about dampening humanity's fucking curiosity, swear on his ghost snake mom.

With a confused look, Jirachi stares at Curtis for a moment. His wish... was none of this kid's fucking business. Who he wanted to bring back had nothing to do with this deal, and after another moment his face twists up angrily.

"It doesn't fucking matter what my wish is. I told you it wasn't bad, and you can take that at face value. I may be snarky, sarcastic, vindictive and misleading, but I don't lie. Now are you going to take the fucking deal, or not? Because there's a guy sitting over that hill back there that's wishing he could go on a killing spree, and I could just as easily make his dreams come true."
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Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 09:36 PM
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Curtis frowned. No. He wasn't going to just blindly trust someone again, after that backfired the last two times. If he was going to make a contract, he had to know the full terms and conditions.

"No," Curtis said defiantly. "If it's not bad, then you shouldn't have any problems telling me. I want to make the deal, but I have to make sure you're not pulling the wool over my eyes with the third wish."

He stepped up closer to Jirachi, showing that he wasn't going to back down so easily. "Unless you really do have something to hide, Jirachi?"

Leo, still keeping his arms crossed, looked away from the scene. He looked just about ready to explode. He really wanted to step in here.
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Jirachi
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 10:03 PM
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No.

No.

...well, fuck, that was a new one. Again Jirachi's left looking dumbstruck, the dramatic denial striking a chord hard enough to make him actually drop out of the sky for a second. Just a second, though, because he quickly regains his composure and comes back up to meet Curtis. He opens his mouth, but can't seem to find the right words to tell this guy to fuck himself up his own ass.

It never comes, though. His reasoning is suddenly the only thing he can think of, and with a sigh of resignation casts his eyes off to the side. "A friend. I lost a friend because I was stupid, did some stupid shit. I want her back. That's what I want to wish for, okay? There. You got to the bottom of the case, Sherlock, whoop-de-fucking doo. Feel proud of yourself, huh?"

Dropping his head a bit, Jirachi floats backwards, putting distance between himself and the human. "Are you gonna take the deal now, or what?"
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Curtis
 Posted: Sep 4 2016, 10:09 PM
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Curtis frowned and nodded solemnly. "I see. I'm sorry to hear that. But in that case, I'll be glad to help you find her, no problem."

"... But your wishes can't screw us over, like some evil genie," Leo added. He still kept crossing his arms and looking away. He was trembling a bit now, too.

Curtis nodded. He then dug into his pocket and produced a PokeBall. "What Leo said. If we have a deal: my first wish is for you to send my Archeops back in time."

Wow, that's not totally vague and super risky at all. Curtis hastily came up with an addendum to his response. Something more thought-out and less horrifically vague.

"What I mean is, Idea died when he was 3 years old," Curtis explained. "Could you send him back to what would have been his third birthday, so he could live the rest of his days in his old time?"

It'd be hard to explain to his family why he evolved, speaks only modern English, is an Archeops instead of an Archen and that there were two of them. But you know, family ties. What could go wrong?
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